My mum likes to say “love those who love you.”
By that she doesn’t mean discard all feelings for those outside of our circle of loved ones, or that we shouldn’t have compassion or care for people we don’t know, in fact, she’s referring to those within our circles. Let me break this down a bit more.
There are people we like, love and put all this effort into in order to be close to them, or just so they’ll like or love us back. Many of us do this multiple times in our lifetimes, where we’ll pay all this attention to those that cause us to feel more pain than happiness, and continually strive to gain their love and or approval, while others that deserve this push are taken for granted.
Recently a friend asked something along the lines of (without going into too much boring detail) — “are you focusing more on this person, than those who are here for you right now?” That made me think hard on this topic and by extension, took me back to mum’s little saying. I realised that even though I’d come pretty far with regard to ensuring I was more attentive to those who were always there for me, I was still devoting all this energy to those that were there in full colour, until the chips started to fall. Even though I could see this, I was still vying for their attention and dealing with negative feelings brought on by our interactions.
Lovely readers, we have to know how to compartmentalise people in our heads. We have to take really long, unbiased looks around us and figure out those that are truly for us all the way and those that aren’t. This doesn’t mean that you have to discard the ones that may not be as willing to be on your team, but it’s important not to spend too much time fighting to make them sign up. Little things prove a lot and actions do speak louder than words. It might be hard to swallow the results of your mental sifting through loved ones, but in the end it will be worth it :).
Have a wonderful week lovely readers and for more tidbits like this one, search using the keywords Monday Insights ^_^.