Jackie Reveals: Daddy Issues (The Nightmare Edition)

nigthmare1As a child I used to have nightmares. This continued throughout my life, until my early twenties. Nowadays, they’re more like adventure games with just the right amount of dread thrown in for good measure. While you lovely readers try to figure out my age, let me explain the reason for the background information.

Nightmares became such a part of my sleep-life, that instead of being fearful in the usual sense, I developed a kind of respect for them. Sure I was scared out nightmare3of my wits during, but I’ve gotten great writing material from a few and enjoyed them more or less. The ones featuring monsters, falling from cliffs, being chased, or other assorted ‘you gon die’ themes, were fine, it was the ones where my father starred, that are still the most horrifying.

He wasn’t sexually or physically abusive, but he was great at all the other kinds. I’ve had nightmares where my father was drowning, or trying to kill me in some other horrifying way, more often than I can count. And, I always wake up crying, fighting air (an unfortunate turn of events for an ex), mad as hell, or a bit of all three. A few days ago I had one of these, where tears were the waking order of the day and it inspired me to share this with you all.


Here in Barbados therapy is only just catching on and still not in a major way yet. We are generally like this: Have a problem? Deal with it. That’s probably half the reason I haven’t seriously considered it and, having survived and recovered from a pretty abusive relationship (another story for another time), I feel as if I can get over my daddy issues as well. We’ll see.



What I learnt

1) Monsters under the bed are not the scariest things out there.

2) To have an even greater appreciation for my wonderful mum.


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12 thoughts on “Jackie Reveals: Daddy Issues (The Nightmare Edition)

  1. It is likely I wasn’t supposed to smile through this, I couldn’t help it. Growing up my mothers best form of babysitter was to tell me there was a wicked man in the closet and snakes under the bed and in the corners. If I left the bed during the night they would kill and eat me, no one would see me ever again and no one would care as I was a terrible child.

    Hmmm, what was I to think? I grew up fascinated by wicked men and snakes.

    I suspect therapy is something we all avoid, no matter the culture. Admission we might need intervention is admission to weakness. No matter what society or culture, this is a tough one. Be well.

    1. To elicit emotion through my stories, whatever the kind, is most welcome. Additionally I’ll be waiting for the new release from Valentine Logar: Men & Snakes ^_^.

  2. Hi Jackie – interesting read. I think that, at the end of the day, writing may well be the best therapy there is…

    1. It definitely has helped me in the past and, though I didn’t put thoughts down for a while, restarting recently is making me remember the benefits.

      Thanks for commenting, I hope your week is a nice one :).

  3. Here in Canada where therapy is readily available, admitting that you are seeing a therapist can cause you to lose friends. Even admitting that you have a mild mental illness is frowned upon as you must be crazy. Stigmas are everywhere and are stopping people from getting the help they need. Now if I was an alcoholic, then sympathy and help would abound.

    1. Thanks for your comment, I wouldn’t have expected that this kind of reaction was even a thing over there.

      ‘Stigmas are everywhere and are stopping people from getting the help they need.’ – Agreed, which is why we have to figure out what works for us as individuals and move forward to suit.

      A great week to you Nelson :).

  4. It’s so true. Going for therapy here in Barbados means that you’re “crazy”; in fact even abroad it still carries that stigma to some extent. Truth is that it just means you have “problems” and everyone has problems and everyone needs help with those problems from time to time because let’s face it, eventually they can be overwhelming. So more power to ya Jackie.

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